My name is DrPhil and i am 38 and a half years old. I have been a really good monkey this year and all i want for Christmas is for you to come back to see us in dreamworld. I think you should know that a guardian tab has been handing out presents in your absence, and it's just not the same if you don't do it. Please come back and see us soon because we have missed you so much since last year.
Lots of love
DrPhil
PS: if you have a spare Nathalie Portman then don't wrap her too tightly for me.