Not Always a Duck...

[ava]

Remember the feeling you had when you found Dream World? How cool it was that you found others that shared this game with you and how the game made it seem you were getting better/stronger each time you played?

Real life was sometimes put on hold, because dammit.. this game was fun and you're with your friends and that also made you feel happy and relaxed when in the game.

I kind of remember that. Just kind of though...

~~~
I started this game in a guild that had some really fun players. It was not an intense, highly ranked guild, but the players there helped each other and we enjoyed our litttle "family" a lot. I met some people there that are still my facebook friends and live in the same city even.

Over time, I left for a more serious guild. I hated saying adios to my first guild because the people were wonderful, but i was outgrowing them level- wise and wanted to see how it would be to move into a more active guild. I was happy to keep in touch with my old guildmates. I tried helping them with gear on occasion which made me happier still.

Due to some bullying problems with a few people in my second guild, I decided I needed to move guilds again. It simply continued endlessly without any resolve, and I wanted to move away from the unnecessary cruelty to me and my guildmates. I happily moved to another guild which seemed utopian. Each day/nite I would help with "bashfests" on isendel.. and engage all my new team mates while we all got our 10% working together. Our guild ranking went up quickly doing this... plus it was a blast. I still remember how much fun that was and so many of the fun people.

Suddenly one day, the air was different. Things I typed were being badly misinterpreted. Questions I had about the way the game was set up were taken to mean i was creating an argument instead of just discussion. There was some really "cold" air when i went into the game - as if people were treading on eggshells. One new friend even ignored friendly skype chat when showing online (after originally telling me that was always where i could reach her.) I emailed one GO that I had been friends with and mentioned that it had seemed like a cold front the past week and asked if there was something i had done.

I received no response.

A day or so later, I then got an email from a GO saying something along the lines that i was not a "fit". Imagine getting such an email from a guild where you had gotten along with everyone, did all you could to help everyone have fun while playing the game, and raising the guild's rankings.

So.. i was aghast. I decided to email all 4 go's/gm the same email asking what it was that I had done, and how could i fix it.

There was no response.

~~~

Over time, people were forthcoming about various things and I found out things that made things much worse.

1. One guildmate (the skype friend i mentioned above) told one of the GO's that i was "mentally ill". (The "proof" of this was because i was up at all hours playing the game. Apparently this friend felt that insomnia is mental illness.)

2. The leader of the guild never verified this allegation with me, nor was there any proof or hint of mental illness. She told others in the guild about this supposed mental illness, but didn't bother to talk to me about it.

3. The leader had previously been argumentative with me over game logistics and took my questions to her as a personal affront to her knowledge. However, the "mental illness" thing was used as an excuse to drop me from the guild.

4. This was all horrific enough for me. But it got even worse. Apparently this "leader" emailed all the top guilds, advising them that i had been dropped from thisr guild for violating rules. (I violated no rules and no one told me "hey.. that's against our rules".) The email went on to say "hey... she's going to be applying to you, and it is not a good idea to allow her in" (paraphrasing).


This was the point i seriously decided that this game was not for me. (There was one more issue with backstabbing after that, but the mental illness rumour was the dealbreaker to me. It made me realize that no one would ever deal with this leader's bullying, likely because they spent a lot on the game. I didn't feel i could even go to the devs on this to get it rectified so I was really SOL as they say.)

So i left Dream World. I left this game for months and months. I blocked it from my facebook feed and dumped a lot of people associated with the game that I no longer trusted. I went through a pretty tough dark spell, due to this petty rivalry and jealousy, disguised as self-righteousness.

~~~

Why do i tell you this?

I want anyone that thinks they are god's gift to Dream world to know that they don't have the right to make people's online life a living hell.

I want them to realize that if you treat this game like your own personal fifedom, then perhaps you should work on your real life so you don't need to feel out of control enough to extend this to an online game.

You do not have the right to lie about anyone. You do not have the right to emotionally blackmail people to do your bidding and you do not have the right to block others from giving their side of the story.

If you are the reason people leave this game, this is NOT a victory for you. It is a loss to the devs that created this game. It is a loss to those that want some peace and quiet after a heinous real life that they won't tell you. It is a loss to the friends of that person that enjoyed the game with them.

and most of all, it is a loss to you. Because if you think people don't know you are the problem, then you are mistaken. Your credibility is shot and that is YOUR loss. =(

~~~


I write this not only for my own catharsis. Neither do i write it just to challenge those that this applies to and get them to clean up their act.

I write it for those that have been hurt like myself by the same person or anyone else that is trying this childishness.

I write it because, there are a great many people in this game that put up with this sort of bullying from the very same person that I had to deal with.

To those people, you are not alone... and there are people that know it wasn't you that created problems.

~~~

To everyone,
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is NOT always a duck! Narcissistic sociopaths and those that emulate them know exactly how to twist events and words to their best advantage. Here is what I need to say ..

NEVER take anything at face value.

Do your due diligence! I don't care if it is your best friend that tells you something. They could have misunderstood it and passed on that misunderstanding to you.

Rumours only thrive when we believe everything we hear and read. Question it.. does it feel right to you that this person was like this?

There are two sides to every slice of bread, no matter how thin you slice it. Questioning what you hear would stop a rumour in it's tracks if we apply logic to what we hear.




....This is why i wrote this post.


~cheex

[Fieryshoe]

Hi Ava!

[ava]

hey fiery...

[BrandonHeat]

As it is actually a 3D object, A slice of bread actually has 6 sides......I just thought you should know.....

[ava]

*giggles*

i am definitely eating my bread too fast!! =)

that's true.. and even better for my analogy. If you look at something from one side, without sitting on the other side of it, you miss more than just one side.

thx brandon.. very good point. =)

[Solomon Grundy]

Glad to see you back in Dream World, Ava. Let the drunken haters do what they do best: whine, complain, and moan. Rise above it, and enjoy the game on your terms, not theirs. I, for one, missed you when you left, and am glad to see you back in the game.

[Solomon Grundy]

Oh, and I am sorry to hear about your mental Illness.

You do realize this is a nonexistant figment of some people's overactive imaginations, yes?

[ava]

brandon.. you're sorry for nothing. I'm fine. =)

by the way.. i'm not going to get into this with anyone. I said my piece and I'm happy that I'm back. The point of me pointing (near the bottom of the lengthy post) was to get people to open their eyes to see the rumours to be what they are. Unfounded rumours.

If you don't wish to get it, nothing I can post will change that. But i've already had people responding to me privately about this and feeling supported, so I guess it has helped some people. For that I'm glad.

Solomon.. i missed you too!!! I do plan on ignoring the haters. It is jsut sad that so many have to hate , ya know? Supposed to be a fun game, but seems to have attracted some that use the game for other purposes. All we can do is sort out the bad apples and find those that don't need to be big meanies to others on computer screens. =)

Enjoy the game everyone. =)

~ava

[Claudia]

After talking with Ava and playing both Dream World and Time World with her, I have to say that anyone who believes she has some mental illness must be referring to some imagined person. She seems perfectly sane to me. I met her when I joined her galaxy in Time World, I got to know her and enjoyed her company. I thought she would fit in wonderfully with my Dream World family, so I invited her to join HEA. I'm happy to say she's accepted and I hope that she will start to feel the joy of playing Dream World again.

[ava]

claudia,

you are the reason i came back to dream world. Your big heart and sense of humour is always there and you make both games a true pleasure. *hugs*

Thx for being amazing!!